Too late to turn back.

What have I gotten myself into? How much am I going to take on? Why was this a good idea?Β Can I live up to the hype that I’ve created for myself in my head? Will I finish this journey? Will I reach my goals? Can I?

Questions I have asked myself over the last few days. Dealing with death is never easy. Dealing with the death of someone you treasured is even harder. Dealing with the thought that eventually you’ll lose others is a very depressing situation. This is what I have been dealing with. This has ruled my mindset over the last couple of weeks. I’ve still been getting my workouts in, but I haven’t been willing to share anything more of myself. These feelings I thought I’d get over quickly aren’t dissipating. They are taking up refuge and making me crazy. They are horrifying and I hate to feel this way. It isn’t healthy and I am doing everything I can to shake it off. It isn’t easy in some situations but I’m talking about my feelings and getting it all out.

Well with that said I’ve been working hard at my fitness. Still logging my #giveit100 posts and uploading a video a day to Instagram. I’m still here, just not as present. As of today I’ll be working on that presence. I must get out of this funk. It is far too late to turn back now.

Have a great day lovelies!

~~Kaneka~~

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