Well here I am.
Here I am.
10 years ago I wouldn’t have thought that I’d be where I am today. Not in my career, not in my family life, and definitely not in my fitness life. Coming from where I did, many people don’t get out, don’t finish college, don’t achieve ANY of their original dreams. I am pleased with what I have done in most areas of my life. But fitness… That is another story altogether.
Let me be clear. I haven’t been thin or considered skinny since I had my daughter almost 17 years ago. I was always a bit overweight, but for a long time I was still fit and athletic. The military definitely helped me with that.
Here I am three years after leaving the service. Only three years ago I was able to run, jump, and do many other things. Even with my knee issues. Today I am a little ashamed of where I have allowed myself to go. A little? Correction, I am EXTREMELY ashamed of how I have let my fitness go by the wayside. Three years and almost 60lbs after leaving the Navy and I am fed up. Fed up with having to start over. Fed up with not following through. Fed up with giving up. I must change this.
I have tried so many things. Diets, workout plans, supplements, etc. I have tried it all and I have not stuck with any of them. I can’t blame the workouts, the supplements, or the diets because it is my fault. I am the only one to blame and subsequently I am the only one who can change this. I have to change this.
I won’t say that this starts today because I have “started” so many times. I rededicated myself to my goals over the weekend, and now I will take it one day at a time to achieve them, one by one.
A few months ago I was in a 21 Day Fix Challenge group and for the first two weeks I was following the plan, eating right, doing the workouts, and then in crept all of the excuses. You know the ones we all resort to when we want to convince ourselves that we can have that cookie, or we can skip today’s workout because we’ll do it tomorrow with the one we have to do then too. I kind of finished one round, but the last week I definitely didn’t give it my all my eating was definitely out of control. I must admit that to myself in order to make better choices and get to where I want to be. The next week I kind of halfway started my second round but that barely lasted a week. I ran into some issues with my health that slowed my progress. My energy was low and I wasn’t operating at 100% (low blood iron anemia is something I’ve dealt with all of my life). Instead of pushing through and at least trying to do SOMETHING, I let that excuse sit me down. AGAIN.
I don’t want to use that word in reference to my fitness life ending or starting over. I can’t let this cycle continue. I won’t allow myself to end up in a situation where I have serious health issues like high blood pressure, diabetes, etc. These are all hereditary and with my family history I am at high risk of developing them. I want to be in the best health possible so IF it happens then it was truly out of my control. My control. That phrase is pretty big to me. I am, well, others might call me a bit of a
control freak. I do find it difficult to relinquish control of MOST things.
I am so afraid to be exposed but this is how I have to do it in order to remain accountable to my goals. Speaking of being afraid… Those before pictures that most people expect when they are following someone on their fitness journey, you know the ones no shirt on, sports bra, bare belly out, back fat, everything I try so hard to hide from the world. I am not totally sure that I have the courage to post them. I do not fear much (spiders tops that list, followed closely by bumblebees because I have an allergy), but to bare all to the world wide web definitely makes it on that list. No. Doubt. About. It.
So I will do some contemplating and some praying, then I’ll pray some more and MAYBE I’ll post them. If nothing else I will post starting pics WITH shirt so that I don’t feel so exposed. I guarantee you that I have the shirtless ones and was even courageous enough to post them in my challenge group on FaceBook. Whether they make the cut here is still up in the air. If they don’t I’ll hold on to them so I can do comparisons as I travel on this journey, and yes then I’ll post them.
As of Monday July 28, 2014 I hit reset on my 21 Day Fix program. It is offered by BeachBody (No I am not affiliated with beachbody in any way although I am contemplating joining as a coach so I can get that discount on my Shakeology though), and I actually ENJOY the workouts. I love that the meal plan is so detailed and offers options. I’ve actually been drinking their superfood packed shake Shakeology since my first failed attempts at successfully completing this program. I love the taste and the energy that they give me. It is easy for me to get all of my fruits in with the shake too, I just put all of them in so it is more of a skakeo-smoothie. *shrugs* whatever works right? So here I go. Wish me luck.
Thank you for reading this.
Until next time.